can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
