i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
