Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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