I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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