Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
