Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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