how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
