She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
