Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
