When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
