My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize