he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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