So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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