1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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