Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Randomize
