After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
there is puke in my bra ... again
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
