Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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