I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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