Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
