I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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