my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
