What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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