So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
