i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
