he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
