What a fucking waste of an outfit
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
