How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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