Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
