K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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