don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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