I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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