i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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