I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
