would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
