let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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