upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize