Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
