OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it's not cheating when I paid for it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
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You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
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And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I supernannyed him into submission
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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