my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
