Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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