I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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