ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
