My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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