I showed him my bush... on skype.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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