One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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