Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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