Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
