stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
