My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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