I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize