I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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