come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize