So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
