I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
