We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize