if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
