would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
