I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
