Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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