she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize