dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
