I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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