it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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