i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
