Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize