we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
