this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
